How to Discuss a Miscarriage with Your Boss

Losing an unborn baby is one of the most traumatic and painful things any woman can experience. Whether it happens early on or later into the pregnancy, it's an emotionally distressing event which can affect both your mental and physical health. A quarter of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, but it's one of the most common taboos and women rarely discuss it, even with other women.

If you've been affected, you may not feel entirely comfortable broaching the subject with your manager, but sometimes it has to be done. Bleeding and other symptoms post-miscarriage can last for a while, and you may need to take time off work. Before you go to your boss and explain the situation, look into your company's policy on sick leave and pregnancy so that you have all the facts before you.

Whether your manager is male or female, you should never be ashamed to say you've suffered or are suffering a miscarriage. Remember, you don't need to go into any details or disclose any more than the straight fact that you've lost a baby.

The vast majority of people will be sympathetic – this is something which can happen to anyone, and for all you know they may have been affected too. If, on a rare occasion, they don't show compassion, then you need to speak to your HR manager. Your employers have a duty of care towards your wellbeing, mental as well as physical.

A miscarriage puts enormous strain on both. There's no 'just getting over' losing a wanted pregnancy. You may never have met them, but you need time to grieve for your baby and not feel the pressure of work.

Some women will choose to carry on and throw themselves back into their job as soon as their health has improved, without telling their boss. That's not for everyone. If you need some time out, that's only natural. Let your boss know, and put yourself first until you're ready.